White Blank Page
by seastarr08
Summary: Sookie has an intimate encounter that changes her life in more ways than one. Pam/Sookie/Eric: Read A/N.


**So, um, yea. I've been working on this on and off for the last couple of weeks, and have a huge, huge chunk of it written. I wanted to do enough so it wouldn't be interfering with The Expat, which I'm writing more. I've been writing on this site for a while now, and the only reason I've been able to do so is because I seem to be able to keep coming up with diverse stories.**

** So I'll warn you all now, this one is quite diverse. It's a real step outside my comfort zone, and involves mature themes and relationships. I'm in a wholly monogamous relationship, far more on par with The Expat, but I thought it would be fun to try out something new, in a safe fictional zone. This story involves femslash, and if that bothers you, you might as well jump ship right now. After doing a hell of a lot of reading on the internet, I hope I've portrayed things in a somewhat accurate way. If not, let me know. In fact, I'd really like you to let me know what you think about this. I'd like to see more diverse stories from our fandom, so hopefully this encourages some more people to think outside the box.**

**With that said, I've read ahead, and it's an Eric and Sookie story, but you're going to have to trust me and wait a while for that. I hope you'll stick it out. I'll be updating frequently.**

**Thanks Missus T, and everyone else that's read and commented on this for me! **

***Runs away blushing***

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"So, you've been a waitress for five years?" Pamela Ravenscroft, who was interviewing me for a manager position that I was hardly qualified for, asked politely. She was a bit older, and a few inches shorter, than me, dressed impeccably, and frankly, intimidating. I really wanted this job, though.

I nodded."Yes, but during that time, I often ran things for my bosses. I made schedules, balanced the cash, made up budgets, that sort of thing." I clasped my hands on my lap, hoping that I'd dressed right. I really wanted this job. It had felt like a longshot, applying for a manager position in this trendy part of town, at a new breakfast and brunch place that was already getting media buzz for its innovative menu, but I really needed a change.

Pam narrowed her eyes at me. "Why do you want to work here?"

I looked around the office. "Because I want to try something new. I want something of my own, something that I can make better. You have an innovative menu. This is a great part of town. You co-own Midgard, where everyone who's anyone goes for dinner. I had lunch there once with my boyfriend, and it was great. I know this place will be just as great, and I want to be a part of that." And then I exhaled.

Pam furrowed her brow at me. "You're hired. I have a good feeling about you. Don't make me regret this."

Over the next few months, with Pam's guidance, I didn't make her regret anything. We got things up, running, and thriving really quickly, establishing a reputation for the best omelets and mimosas in town. We had to take reservations on the weekend usually, and still had a line outside the door until we closed at three. I'd helped her hire the rest of the staff, and while there were a few glitches, we'd done well since we both had a pretty good sense for people.

I looked up to Pam, even though I discovered she was a few years older than me, which put her at twenty-eight. She had such a great sense of style, always putting things together that I'd never even think to match up. We went shopping from time to time after work, and I slowly began to expand my fashion horizons. After I'd been there for six months, I walked into my office to find a Chanel bag with a card. Pam knew what she was paying me, and that it was something I'd have to save up for years to buy. I loved it to pieces, with its beautiful black leather and silver chain strap.

Pam's husband Eric worked a lot. She came in late a few days a week so they could spend a bit of time together, because most nights he didn't get home until after two. It didn't seem to bother her too much though, and she told me once that they found time for each other where they could, and that was how it had always been with them. I'd never actually met him, besides once in passing when he picked her up on a Sunday. He was quite handsome, with blond hair and piercing dark blue eyes. And he was really, really tall. One look at him, and the way he looked at Pam, and it was incredibly obvious that he loved the hell out of her.

I'd moved in with my boyfriend, Quinn, a month or so before starting work at Ostara. He worked as a gym teacher at the local high school, and we'd been together for about three years. He was a good man, but really focused on his family, which included his crazy mother and his even crazier sister. I thought moving in together would mean that he had more time for me, and for us, but so far it hadn't panned out like I'd planned. He was still going over to his mom's for dinner three nights a week, and had been totally disinterested in my new job. He'd only been in for brunch once, and Pam had rolled her eyes at him when he'd asked what an artichoke was.

It was weird. I'd gotten myself out of one rut professionally but seemed to have ended up falling into another personally.

We'd been open a year when Pam surprised me with an envelope on my desk. She came in a minute later, a huge smile on her face, which was a contrast to my dropped jaw.

"I get to go to this? In San Francisco?"

She nodded, her eyes sparkling. "We're both going. We have to keep things fresh around here. I haven't been to the Fancy Winter Food Show, so I thought it was about time I went, and you've worked so hard around here that I thought it was only right that you got to come along too. I booked us at a hotel I like. We'll go out to eat, check out the show and the city. Amelia can handle things around here for a few days."

Amelia was head waitress, and had been doing a great job. I didn't doubt she could handle things. "This is too much, Pam. I can't accept this."

Pam shook her head, refusing to take no for an answer. "You can, and you will. It's work related, and I want you there. It'll be good for you to see what's new, and I want you to help me with the winter menu."

Quinn had no idea what a food show was. "So you're going to California with your boss? That sucks. You get to go somewhere fun, and you have to hang around with that old bat." He smirked. "Bed by seven and all that I'm sure."

I wrinkled up my nose at him. "You've met Pam. She's only a couple of years older than me."

Quinn shrugged. "I met her? When, Babe?"

I threw my hands up. "When you came in from brunch that time. The young blond. She's my boss. I told you that. Do you listen to anything I say?"

He wrapped his arms around me. "Babe, don't be like that. I listen to everything you say. You've just switched jobs so much lately that I can't keep everyone straight."

I just rolled my eyes and left the room. I should have know that there was little use in trying to change Quinn.

We left for San Francisco a couple of weeks later. I couldn't stop smiling as the cab picked me up, as we went to the airport, the whole way to California. This was a huge deal for me. I practically buzzed as Pam and I entered the giant arena. "Have you been to California before, Sookie?" she asked, a glint in her eye as I looked around.

I shook my head. "I've never been anywhere. Well, I went to Texas once, but that's it. It's not even California; it's all this food, and the tools, and everything. I just never thought I'd be doing this."

She nodded. "I used to go to more of these, with Eric usually, before we both got busy with work. I must say though, with you running the café, we've been able to have a bit more time. He wants to come to the summer show with me."

It must have been nice, having someone that was supportive. "Quinn doesn't care about what I do. He often forgets that I changed jobs."

Pam tisked at me. "He's an asshole then. Sookie, you should be really proud of what you've done."

After a day of sampling wine and delicious food, we both stumbled back to the really beautiful hotel she'd booked for us. We got off the elevator, then Pam put her hand on my arm. "I bought some dessert wine. Want to come try it?"

Pam was so beautiful, and confident, and strong. If I was half the woman she was, then I'd really feel like I accomplished something. She made me feel good about myself, simply by being in her orbit.

"Sure."

The layout of Pam's room was the same as mine, with the huge king sized bed and a small sitting area. She hopped up on the bed, and pulled her shoes off, setting them onto the ground. I sat on the couch across the room, and she poured us two glasses.

"Cheers. To us, Sookie. I never thought we'd get Ostara off the ground so quickly. I couldn't have done it without you."

I blushed. "You're so great, Pam. It was really all you. I'm sure you could do whatever you set your mind to."

Pam gave me a knowing smile. She often chided me about my lack of self-confidence. "Come here for a minute." She patted the bed, and I moved and sat beside her. "I don't know why you let him make you feel like that about yourself. Sookie, you're gorgeous, warm, kind, great with people. You're the real deal. I wish I was as good with the customers as you are."

And then our glasses were on the nightstand, and her lips were on mine. I pulled away, confused about what had happened. "I just, I..."

Pam had kissed me, and I liked it. "I'm sorry," she whispered, distancing herself from me slightly. "I just, well, I wanted to do that. You're beautiful, Sookie."

My fingers went to my lips. I was half-tempted to run back to my room and pretend this never happened, but a big part of me didn't want that at all.

"Don't be sorry," I whispered back, as I reached across the bed and took her hand. "Please, don't be sorry."

She looked at my hand on hers and moved back to where she'd been before. "I'm really not sorry at all," she brushed a bit of hair out of my eyes. "In fact, I'd quite like to do it again."

This time, I pushed my mouth against hers, putting my all into the kiss. She responded by pulling me on top of her and then pulling us both down on the bed. "I've never done this," I said, as her hands went to the hem of my shirt.

"That's okay," she grinned. "I may have a bit of experience in this area that I'd be willing to impart."

I wanted to ask what she meant by that but was quickly caught up in what was going on around me. Her skin was so soft, yet firm, as I moved my hands along her arms. I sat up briefly as she pulled my shirt over my head. I tried to say something, but it was like my voice was stuck. "I don't know what to do," I managed to choke out.

"Roll onto your back," she said, as she tugged her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. "I don't want you to worry about labels, or tomorrow, or anything. This is just about you and I, here, now."

I gasped at the feeling of her hands on my skin, as she wrapped her hands around me to undo my bra, getting the snap undone instantly. No fumbling at all. "You have to tell me if I'm doing something wrong," I whispered.

Pam kissed my neck and slowly moved her mouth down my body and onto my chest. "No one knows a woman's body better than a woman. Just do what feels right."

I closed my eyes for a second as she moved her soft lips over my breast, stopping long enough to take my nipple between her teeth. It all felt so taboo, so wrong in a sense, but so right somehow at the same time. I moaned as she eased my jeans off, along with my underwear. She sat up on her heels and pulled her skirt off as well, before stepping out of her very red underwear.

Pam's breasts were incredible. I couldn't take my eyes off them as she reached behind her back and slid the straps down. They were very different from mine, smaller, perkier.

I realized that I wanted to touch them. Desperately. In a minute, she was back on me, our chests pushed together. "I've wanted this for months," she whispered, as she slid a hand down my side and between my legs. "Do you know how hard it's been, watching you, being with you every day, and never being able to touch you, to tell you how I felt? To give you the pleasure I wanted to?"

It was a need I hadn't realized I had, but as her delicate fingers moved between us, gently probing my most intimate spots, I'd never wanted anything more. Wine, no wine, I wanted this, with her. "You're so beautiful, Pam," I whispered. "This feels so good."

She sat up slightly to look into my eyes, and I ran my finger under the curve of her breast as she moved my legs open slightly, pressing herself against me. "And we've just started."

I'd never changed positions so many times in one night. Pam didn't push me to do anything I wasn't sure about, and I felt immense satisfaction when I felt her clench around my fingers. She was a good teacher, directing me with breathy whispers before bringing me to an incredible climax, after she pushed me to straddle her face. I held onto the headboard for dear life, as she stimulated every part of me with her mouth and hands, until I was practically begging for mercy.

As often happened, the sun's streaming rays through the window cast a dark shadow over the night before. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling the sheet tightly around my chest. "Oh, God. Quinn. What about Quinn?" I just had sex with my boss. My beautiful, female boss. I felt the colour drain from my face. I'd never even imagined this would happen. What the hell had I done?

Pam shrugged, clearly less concerned with the repercussions of our actions. "Do what you want with him. Tell him, don't tell him. I'm not going to say anything if you don't want me to."

And then I remembered that I wasn't the only one with a significant other, one who was far less of a prick from what I'd heard. "What about Eric?"

She smiled. "Eric and I have an arrangement. We've always had one. This is not a problem for him. In fact, I think he'd be quite surprised if it didn't happen. He knows I've been attracted to you for a while now. I never shut up about you. I'm like some silly little girl with a crush."

I blushed at her words. "What kind of arrangement?"

"A realistic one, designed to keep us together and happy." Her hand went to my hip, which didn't feel as awkward as I thought it would in the harsh daylight. I felt my stomach clench as she traced my bellybutton. "I like you, Sookie, and I think you like me. I'd like to do this again."

I still had questions about her relationship with Eric, but the words were out of my mouth before I even realized I said them. "I would, too."

She grinned broadly. "Then there's no problem. And we're here for another two days. I'll cancel your room."

I realized, as we showered together, that I'd had a girl crush on Pam from the first day I'd met her. I just never thought it would end up taking me here. Pam was an incredible lover, and as I leaned against the wall of the shower while she washed me, I really couldn't imagine going back to Quinn.

We skipped the food show that afternoon, and walked along Chestnut Street together window shopping. I flinched slightly when she reached for my hand, but then gave in, relaxing as she rubbed my palm with her thumb. "There's nothing wrong with this, Sookie," she whispered. "It's still just you and me."

I nodded. "I know. I'm scared of what that means though."

She smiled. "We can figure that out together. I want to figure it out with you."

We talked most of the next night between orgasms. Pam told me about herself and about how she'd met Eric, and the other women that she'd dated, and how it had taken her a bit of time to come to terms with her bisexuality, but once she had, it was the best thing she'd ever done for her and Eric. They were very open with one another, which was hard to imagine, when I looked back on the relationships I'd been in. She told me about how they'd worked through some jealously issues that they'd both had over the years and how they'd decided to make a change to the life they lived now.

Curiosity got the best of me. "I have to ask, Pam. How did you decide to do this?"

"We're both very honest people, with similar values. That's how. We love each other, enough to love our differences and idiosyncrasies. He's quite an amazing man."

Leaving California for Louisiana was a harsh awakening, in a lot of ways. However, I decided something the third evening, as Pam gave me what was the most earth shattering orgasm of my life. I was still me. Nothing had really changed. I didn't have to change my outlook on things because I'd had sex with a woman countless times in the last few days.

But I also realized that I cared deeply for Pam. And I had for a long time. I wasn't sure where that put me, in terms of my sexuality, or where I'd be when the plane landed when it came to the relationships in my life.

And now I had to go back and deal with Quinn. I spent most of the flight thinking about it. Pam fell asleep for a while, laying her head on my shoulder as she slept. She was soft, sensitive, affectionate, beautiful, on top of everything wonderful that she'd been before. The thought of going back to the way things had been, spending every day working side by side, but not being together nearly broke my heart. Being with her wasn't something I'd planned on, but it was exactly what I needed right now.

We shared a cab home, with me getting out first. In my driveway, she moved her hand up my arm, which sent shivers down my spine. "Come by the restaurant tomorrow. I know it's your day off."

I nodded. "We should probably talk about this. What we're doing."

She gave a little nod. "Yea, we probably should. Sleep on it."

I found myself disappointed that she didn't kiss me goodbye and equally disappointed when Quinn kissed me hello. "Hey, Babe. How was Seattle?"

"San Francisco," I mumbled. "Fine. Lots of good food."

"Well I missed you. You're off tomorrow, right? I thought we'd go for lunch or something. Maybe with my mother."

I cringed internally at the idea of lunch with his mom. "I actually have to work after all. Lots of things to catch up on since I was gone. Sorry. Maybe another day?"

He nodded. "Sure, Babe."

It felt different walking into Pam's office after everything that had heart skipped a beat when she gestured for me to close the door behind me. She was wearing a tight pink dress with a sweetheart neckline, the bit of a tan she'd gotten in California evident. Her lips curled up into a smile as I walked in. "Hey you."

I sat at the desk across from her. "Hey."

We sat there, quietly for a few minutes. Yep, I cared deeply for her. The idea of working with her everyday and not being how we'd been in California was really unthinkable. I really didn't want to leave my job here, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to see her as much as I did if we weren't together.

She broke the silence. "I want to be with you. I don't know how we'll do that, but it's what I want."

If I was being honest with myself, I'd probably been trying to figure out a way to get out of things with Quinn for months. "Okay."

"It's not a problem with me, as long as you're okay with Eric. I love Eric, but I could love you too. I maybe already do. What about Quinn?"

"I don't want to be with Quinn anymore. I haven't for a while." Wait. Had she said she was still planning on being with her husband? "You're still going to be with Eric?"

She shrugged. "I told you that I've had girlfriends before. As has he. Like I said, we don't have a typical dynamic. Is that something you could deal with?"

Was it? "I don't know. I need to think about that, I think."

She leaned across the desk and took my hand. I exhaled, once again feeling the electric connection between us. "I hope you'll think it over quickly. I want this, with you. I know this is new for you though, and I can be patient."

I glanced at her curves in the dress, remembering how her chest had felt against mine. "Where would we go? What would be do? How would this work?"

She was slightly more obvious as her eyes moved over my body. "We could go to my place, or yours, and we'd date. See where we ended up. We're both young, Sookie. We don't have to buy each other promise rings or run off to Vermont and get married or anything. Just have fun for a while. You could date a guy, if you met one you liked."

I'd never been one to take risks, never one to leap before I looked, but staring into her blue eyes I felt something in myself shift. I had to do this. I'd always wonder what could have been if I didn't. "Okay. I'm in."

"You're in." She grinned. "I didn't think it would be that easy."

I smiled back at her. "You put up a hell of a case in California."

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**I've relocated all my all-human stories to my blog. You can read the other 24 chapters at seastarr08 dot wordpress dot com**


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